Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize