pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
