yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
