Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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