Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
