I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
