Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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