You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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