Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
