wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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