you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
