You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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