sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
