i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
