I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
