I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
