it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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