I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
