i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
