It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
