I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
