I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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