Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I deserve this hangover.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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