So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
3 2 1 whiskey
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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