my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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