All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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