you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize