About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
