I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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