I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
