i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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