Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
