dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
