im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
