This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
