For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
