you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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