he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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