No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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