So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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