He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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