I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
