walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
birth control should be required to get into college
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize