i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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