I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I use my feet as sexual weapons
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
