But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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