Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
