He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
