Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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