Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize