please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
