Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
