I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
