There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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