Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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