All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am available for nakedness
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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