And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm passing your future prison.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
