What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
When are your genitals available?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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