Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
