i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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