these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
