Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
