the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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