And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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